whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
