Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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