Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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