So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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