I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
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Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
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I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize