Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
