Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(808): View more from Hawaii

i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.

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(808): i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon. http://tfl.nu/roae

Replies (12) Good night (835) Bad night (1085)
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(561): View more from Florida

i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...

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(561): i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots... http://tfl.nu/p2m9

Replies (18) Good night (615) Bad night (2190)
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(703): View more from Virginia

There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....

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(703): There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it.... http://tfl.nu/mny7

Replies (14) Good night (729) Bad night (2118)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.

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(610): not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis. http://tfl.nu/tt6j

Replies (11) Good night (567) Bad night (3804)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket

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(601): she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket http://tfl.nu/j6rw

Replies (8) Good night (3635) Bad night (987)
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(231): View more from Michigan

So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?

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(231): So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was? http://tfl.nu/e02a

Replies (21) Good night (1487) Bad night (4648)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

My vagina just recognized that song.

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(973): My vagina just recognized that song. http://tfl.nu/3ui0

Replies (7) Good night (3132) Bad night (811)
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(705): View more from Ontario

Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.

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(705): Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night. http://tfl.nu/58lp

Replies (18) Good night (1021) Bad night (4013)
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(319): View more from Iowa

I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.

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(319): I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie. http://tfl.nu/hxcl

Replies (13) Good night (3101) Bad night (1140)
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(319): View more from Iowa

I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.

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(319): I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/0zto

Replies (16) Good night (962) Bad night (2286)
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(619): View more from California

THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO

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(619): THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO http://tfl.nu/tlry

Replies (6) Good night (439) Bad night (812)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me

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(860): I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me http://tfl.nu/egc4

Replies (4) Good night (613) Bad night (213)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!

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(403): Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes! http://tfl.nu/9ss2

Replies (5) Good night (1033) Bad night (311)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"

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(248): Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum" http://tfl.nu/5h4q

Replies (5) Good night (572) Bad night (290)
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(713): View more from Texas

Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...

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(713): Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ... http://tfl.nu/86td

Replies (2) Good night (230) Bad night (566)

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