I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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