If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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