she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dicks are not precious.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
