Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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