I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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