Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
