she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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