my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
