I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
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Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
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Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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