Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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