ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
