Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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