ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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