i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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