fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
