He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
