Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
