I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
