She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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