i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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