I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
