We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
