hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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