Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
