just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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