Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
