i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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