Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
