Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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