I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
