Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
