You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
