I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
