it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Randomize
