...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
