ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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