dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
