ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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