Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You're like the curious george of whores
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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