do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
