A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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