I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
