You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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