You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
