Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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