I got chris browned last night
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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