I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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