I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
