somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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