you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
