Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
