Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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