ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
