I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
