dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
