didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
