DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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