remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
