the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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