I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
