U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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